Betwixt
by Jude998
Summary: Kylo Ren wants nothing more than the droid that holds the map to Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi. Ren intends to find Skywalker and destroy the final Jedi himself. When he later discovers there are more Force-Sensatives to surface, he is pleased to have followed the hunch so many years ago to keep an individual hidden on Star Killer Base. KyloRenxOC
1. Chapter 1: This Was Much Different

_Kylo Ren wants nothing more than the droid that holds the map to Luke Skywalker, the last Jedi. Ren intends to find Skywalker and destroy the final Jedi himself. When he later discovers there are more Force-Sensatives to surface, he is pleased to have followed the hunch so many years ago to keep an individual hidden on the Star Destroyer. KyloRenxOC_

 **Terribly sorry about the vague description, but I didn't want to give much more away. A little disclaimer: I didn't come up with quite a bit of the story line, as it follows the Force Awakens. This fanfic begins with a scene from the Force Awakens to help the reader (that's you!) know where in the time line this story takes place. I'm a fairly new Star Wars fan, so constructive criticism is much appreciated.**

 _ **Thank You & Enjoy!**_

 _BETWIXT: be·twixt (biˈtwikst) - preposition & adverb. Definition: neither the one nor the other; in a middle or unresolved position_

General Hux and Kylo Ren walked the length of the bridge inside the Star Destroyer. "Supreme Leader Snoke was explicit. Capture the droid if we can, but destroy it if we must." General Hux said, head held high.

"How capable are your soldiers, General?" Kylo Ren asked a mocking tone showing regardless of the mechanical tone through the mask he wore. Hux scoffed, "I won't have _you_ question my methods." He retorted.

"They're obviously skilled at committing high treason," Ren continued, "Perhaps Leader Snoke should consider using a clone army." He suggested.

General Hux raised his head even higher at Ren, "My men are exceptionally trained, programmed from birth."

"Then they should have no problem retrieving the droid." Kylo Ren said back, "Unharmed." He stressed.

"Careful, Ren," The General said, this time the mocking tone coming from him, "That your 'personal interests' not interfere with orders from Leader Snoke."

Kylo Ren felt the frustration and annoyance only build up, "I want that map." He bellowed, "For your sake, I suggest you get it." He threatened, as he turned sharply and marched away in his usual fashion. Hux felt hate for Ren. The feeling was very mutual.

* * *

As usual, her slumber was anything other than rejuvenating. Usually, her dreams were as vivid as reality was, which was exhausting. It seemed almost every time she would be having a somewhat uplifting dream, it was disturbed by the usual presence. A figure cloaked in black, who would always taint the escape of the dream and turn it into a prison. It would always be that being to put an end to any sort of dream that seemed to be flowing comfortably.

She would try and close her eyes or turn away to ignore it. Sometimes she would yell at it in frustration, in which case it would only stare back at her as she felt frozen in spot, until she was awoken in real life. She hated that thing could control her from escaping. It never spoke words; it only appeared and distorted her once untroubled dream. Every night. Some nights she would get further into a dream without interruption, other times it was there before she could even begin to dream without it being there.

Luckily, she was woken by the metal door sliding open. The lights lining her quarters flickered on.

"Your training session will begin shortly" The storm trooper rehearsed, as same as every time she was pulled out of her sleep. Many times she was thankful for the trooper waking her.

She sat up in her rather simple bed, feeling annoyance consume her, although she was relieved to be away from the phantom that haunted her in her sleep. She wondered if it was possible to one day she would have a sleep that was tranquil.

The quarters she stayed included a small room with a bed, small closet, table and chair, and through another door, a private lavatory area. The quarters were nothing special, but certainly better than the conditions she endured the very few times she didn't follow instructions.

Making her way to the mirror in the lavatory, she pulled her long silver hair up, wrapping it around and pinning it into a bun. In small attempt to cool the annoyance growing in her, she took in a deep breath, slamming the hair brush down on the counter on her way out of the lavatory. She quickly paced her way back into the small room.

She changed into her training robes at her small closet, and slid her training boots and gloves on. The troopers stood inside the room, the sliding metal door open.

Walking up to the two storm troopers waiting inside her quarters, they followed her out, upon exiting, stood another two. The walk to the training area wasn't far, but as anywhere she went, there were always troopers to escort.

The walk to where she spent the majority of the time was short; she always peeked around to see if she would see anything new. The odd time, a door in the hallway would be open, and she would see more troopers or a droid.

In the large room they arrived at the beginning of each day, there was plenty of equipment to work with.

She grabbed a large wood staff and began practicing defense against training droids.

A constant in her routine seemed to be spending a lot of time trying to beat her best time at the obstacle course, when she would set a new record there would never be reward except the reward she felt for herself.

She spent the time awake, training until someone claimed otherwise. It was never anything out of normal, either a meal break or back to the sleeping quarters.

The exercise had helped subside the feeling of annoyance that had hung over her at the beginning of the day.

When she was escorted back to her room at the end of her training, there was a hot dinner waiting on a metal pan. She rinsed herself off in her private lavatory and changed into clean robes. As she was dressing, she noticed new bruises.

Walking back into the small room, she ignored the (now cold) food on the dish on the table, and walked over to the far corner. She sat down, crossed her legs and took a heavy breath in.

At times where anger or annoyance took over, she would pace around her small room, talking to herself to calm down. Sudden spikes of emotions where due to the solitary of her routine, she figured. Not any troopers would ever converse with her when she did try.

Whenever she was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions, she found herself in the same corner of the room, crossed legs, fists touching at her chest.

Exhaling deep, inhaling deep, exhaling deep... inhaling deep...

Until she reached meditative state.

She didn't have anything else to do in her dull quarters, meditating was the one and only way for her to occupy herself.

She slipped into a deep state of meditation, escaping once again to somewhere that she had continuously dreamed about. She had much more control over her meditation visions, the presence that contaminated her sleep was never seen when she meditated.

Slipping into her place of complete tranquility, she finally felt she would get the rest her mentality needed so badly. It was a big, blue water hole, surrounded by lush, green foliage. Jumping into the crisp, clear water. When her body was submerged the feeling was euphoric. Sometimes she would lay on the rocks around the blue hole and just stay.

When her head felt level, and she was no longer in an unbalanced mind, she would come out of meditation, and lay on the bed, talking to herself until her eyes were too heavy to hold open anymore, in which she was prepared to face the restless slumber, and ruin her level mind.

If she could remember anything at all, it was only this routine.

* * *

On the bridge of the Star Destroyer, Kylo Ren reports to Lieutenant Mitaka to get a status report. The Lieutenant stares out across the star field, swallowing hard at the thought of delivering the news to Ren.

"Sir," He began, "We were unable to acquire the droid on Jakku," Ren turned to him, as he continued, "IT escaped capture aboard a stolen Corellian TY model freighter..."

Ren finally spoke, relieving Mitaka the slightest, "The droid... stole a freighter?"

The Lieutenant cleared his throat, "Not exactly, sir, it had help." Ren didn't say anything, which says enough.

Mitaka felt a bead of sweat drop from his hairline and his heart rate increase, finally finding it in him to speak again, "We have no confirmation, but we believe FN-2187 may have been helped with the escape-" Lieutenant Mitaka was interrupted by the piercing sound of Ren's Lightsaber igniting. Mitaka, winces, listening to the destruction behind him.

The terrifying sounds of Ren's rage continued, as Mitaka found the courage to look up. The metal wall behind them was destroyed, with large glowing scars to display.

"Anything _else_?" Ren asked.

Mitaka wishes he didn't, "The two were accompanied by a girl." The Lieutenant suddenly felt a forceful pull and was lifted into Ren's gloved hand, "What girl?"

* * *

Her rest wasn't bothered by the presence, for once.

Instead, in the middle of her sleep, she woke up in a state of complete alarm. She was drenched in cold sweat as she sat up in her bed, gasping for air. She breathed quick, panicked breaths and her chest was tight with anxiety. This had never happened before.

She starred at the door to her right, wanting to go toward it for some kind of help, but her head was in too excruciating pain to see straight. Trying to gather her thoughts, she closed her eyes in effort to find the blue water hole, only to see visions of complete chaos. She tried to gain the sense of spiritual cleanse that submerging herself into the water gave her, but she only felt the disorder in her mind.

 _Breathe,_ She said in her mind, _Breathe deeper._

Fighting the visions in her head was too difficult; she tried desperately to make them fade. Eventually, her quick breaths of panic slowly blended into longer, choppy gasps, she spent time pacing her breathing and clearing her mind before finally she found a normal breathing pattern.

She finally opened her eyes, her chest tight, though it was better than just before.

Her hands lifted up to her head and she collapsed backwards onto her bed in complete exhaustion.

She wasn't sure how long she had passed out for, but when she came to again, she got up and walked to the door, pressing her hand on the buzzer button beside it. It slid open and she was greeted by two troopers, "What's going on?" One of them asked her, stepping in front of her. She kept her arms crossed hastily in front of her, "I need a medical droid," she requested, "I am very ill."

The trooper stepped closer to her until she was back behind the door, and the door slid shut between them. She blinked in disbelief, and scrunched her face in anger, slamming her fist against the door.

She went back to the corner of the room and sat cross legged, but regardless of her efforts, couldn't slip into a state of meditation.

Her mind was in a place it had never been, the emotions were too strong this time and the physical pain definitely didn't help. She got up and quickly paced to the door again, pressing the buzzer. No response. She pressed it repeatedly, still nothing. She slammed her fists against the door in rage.

She felt her whole body get hot, her blood boiling. She backed away from the door, beads of sweat pouring off of her. She dragged her feet as she got further away from the door. Her vision wasn't holding up anymore. The further away she got from the door, the worse it was.

Normally, she would start pacing to calm herself, but she couldn't handle the pain and discomfort any longer. She turned back to the door and starred intensely at it, her head feeling as if it was going to explode. She felt a push behind her. When, suddenly, the door slid open.

She stared blankly in surprise, "Did I do that?" She whispered to herself, slowly walking up to the open doorway, peeking out each way down the hallway. She hastily stepped outside.

Starring down the left, where she was always escorted to the training facilities, she felt compelled to go to the right instead. She knew if she was caught it would be a world of trouble, but she couldn't stay confined in her quarters for any longer in the discomfort and distress she was in. Anything was better than being where she just was.

The further she got away, the better she felt. She was first walking briskly, but soon got carried away and began running. She followed the long, empty hallways down, following the push behind her almost telling her where to go.

She turned around a sharp corner of a hallway for her momentum of her run to come to a stop. She was face to face with four trooper guards. They stopped in their tracks and looked dumbfounded, not even raising their blasters. Almost by reflex, she exhaled, and found herself concentrating on them as she did the door, and felt a surge of power through her. The troopers slammed against the wall beside them, and fell to the ground.

She stood in complete shock, unable to believe what she had witnessed herself just do. Her body shaking, she grabbed one of their blasters from the ground and continued down the hallway, now in full sprint. She continued to follow the push and felt herself become more and more at ease.

The more she ran with the push, the better she felt. Suddenly, she was stopped in her tracks. Her hands opened from their clenches, and the blaster in her hand made a crash to the ground. Before she knew it, an arm wrapped around her chest. A hand grasped her head. The last of the pain went away in her head, and she slipped into darkness.

* * *

Kylo Ren stood in his quarters, starring out to the star field. His mind raced, more than usual. He was too distracted to even remember to torment her dreams. Anxiety consumed him as he attempted to develop a strategy to find the droid that held what he needed most.

He required guidance, to talk to Supreme Leader Snoke or, better yet, _Grandfather_ he closed his eyes, reaching out, _I need your guidance. I need to find the droid._ His eyes shot open. He felt something. Inside of him. First, he figured it was Supreme Leader Snoke summoning him.

No.

This was much different.

He tossed the long, black material that draped around him out of his way as he made his way out of his quarters walking as fast as most would run.

He had hardly made it into the bridge when Lieutenant Mitaka cleared his throat turned to Ren, expecting him there,"Sir," Mitaka began, "It seems as though we have an escaped prisoner in section B488.."

Ren tried to hide his astonishment, but felt his body flinch. There was only one individual on section B488 of the Star Killer, and he knew exactly who it was. Suddenly he was completely aware of the feeling inside of him. He spun around and headed in the direction that the Force pulled him.

He went to section B488. It wasn't hard to find her; the feeling was burning as he approached closer. Finally, he caught up to her. Just as he was about to lift his hand and drag her towards him, they turned a corner and there were a group of troopers, who stood in complete fear. Ren could feel it pouring off of them.

He decided to watch, curious to see what she would do, his arm lowering from where it just was.

In no time, the feeling inside burned even harder. He was drenched underneath his robes, and he felt the power radiate off of her as the troopers were sent of their feet.

She scrambled to grab a blaster and continued running. He wanted to watch more, but felt it inside of him it was best to put an end. Surely Hux would already be upset about the four troopers she damaged; he couldn't help but get a sense of satisfaction of the idea of Hux getting upset.

He lifted his hand and stopped her in her tracks, the blaster falling to the ground. He put all of his energy together, feeling only the dark side. With the vision of dark in his mind and with exact precision he wrapped his right arm around her. He held his left hand up to her forehead, inducing her into unconsciousness.

As his hand had contacted her head, a surge of energy devoured him. The darkness had gone away and at last minute he had converted his mind away from it. The burning of the feeling was gone, but his being vibrated from the sheer energy between them. His knees buckled as he collapsed back onto the wall, barely holding onto her upper body as the rest of her was only a bit limper than he was.

He quickly composed himself as he stood upright, pulling her up with him. He was too dazed to understand what had happened. He saw light, and wasn't sure why.

It didn't take long for frustration to take over.

He threw her legs over his other arm and carried her to an empty interrogation room not far away. When he walked in, he set her on the metal table at the end of the room. He stared at her lifeless body, her face for once at ease as she slept. He stood still as he hesitated to call General Hux, or to report to Supreme Leader Snoke.

Instead, he felt the urge to look into her mind, so he followed it. He lifted his hand towards her forehead. He left his hand hovering just above her forehead. Even through his gloved hand, he could feel the heat and pure energy radiating off of her. He quickly ripped his hand away to his side in frustration.

He looked at the restraints by her hands and grabbed them, beginning to tie them harshly in his frustration.

He stopped.

She wasn't a prisoner. She was a member of the First Order; she was the secret weapon that the Resistance was clueless about. Her extensive mental conditioning and her physical training were a combination that would lead to a flawless apprentice.

Her mind was blank from her past, so she had no attachments to drag her to the light. If only he could be so lucky.

She wouldn't have to battle the pull of the dark and light as he did all these years. Yet she was not in the dark yet. She floated in the between. Not feeling any attachment or pull to the light, yet she still glowed. He couldn't fail. Too much time and resources have been used to condition her into the perfect apprentice.

Finally, the conflict and frustration was too much. He groaned, turning around and punching the wall beside him.

He turned back to her and waved his hand, undoing the restraints and storming out of the room, making his way to his meditation quarters.

 _Supreme Leader Snoke,_ He summoned, _The girl, she has realized she is Force Sensitive. She is strong with the Force._

With no hesitation, Snoke replied back, _Good. Have yourself and General Hux meet with me. There is vital information to discuss._


	2. Chapter 2: The First Orders Secret Edge

Kylo Ren and General Hux filed into the dark assembly room. Hundreds of desks in the stadium arc focused on a platform where Supreme Leader Snokes image was projected onto. He was not human. His presence was deceitful, fragile yet powerful at the same time.

"Leading them to the last Jedi" Snokes voice echoed in the massive area, "If Skywalker returns, the new Jedi will rise."

"Surpreme Leader," General Hux chimed in, "I take full responsibility for th-"

"General." Snoke bellowed, "Our strategy must now change."

"The weapon. It is ready. I believe the time has come to use it." The General said in full confidence, "We shall destroy the government that supports the Resistance, the Republic. Without their friends to protect them, the Resistance will be vulnerable, and we will stop them before they reach Skywalker."

Just his voice alone makes Rens blood boil.

Snoke thought deeply, considering the strategy, silence fills the massive room; when finally Snoke speaks again, "Go. Oversee preparations."

Hux bowed his head, "Yes, Supreme Leader" He glanced at Ren in a smug manner and head held high, he spun around and exited the room, Ren watching his every step.

Ren turned back to Snoke, who was re-positioning himself. There was a new affinity to the way he spoke.

"There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?"

"Yes."

In fact, he had experienced it firsthand. Before he could explain, Snoke spoke.

"There's something more," Snoke continued, "The droid we seek is aboard the Millennium Falcon. In the hands of your father, Han Solo."

Ren felt his body jerk in shock, unable to hide the realness of his surprise. Even with his face covered, it was obvious how truly stunned he was.

"He means nothing to me." Ren quickly countered

"Even you, master of the Knights of Ren, have never faced such a test." Snoke bellowed, sensing his reaction.

Kylo Ren took a deep breath, "By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced."

Snoke nodded, satisfied of Rens response, "We shall see." With that Ren bowed his head.

His being full of emotion he was frustrated to feel, pushing against the storm of emotion within him, he subsided the feelings that were growing. If there was one thing he hadn't mastered, it was taking control of the emotional battle within.

Just as he had composed, he looked up to Snoke.

He had been so blindsided by the name of his father come of Supreme Leader Snoke's words that he had neglected to mention the information about the girl.

Without uncertainty, he delivered his discovery to his Master.

"Supreme Leader," He was thankful for that mask that he was concealed behind, "The girl kept on section B488,"

Snoke's curiosity peaked as he lifted his head, "It has been years since you mentioned this one. Your message left me quite interested."

Ren nodded, "She is Force-Sensitive." He felt a wave of relief as he had been waiting to deliver this message for a long time.

Rens strategy had been to create a perfect apprentice, one not tainted by the memories such as the ones that haunted him each day. He used a slow burn effect to condition her over a long period of time to be mentally and physically impenetrable.

 _During Rens destruction of the Jedi Academy, after Skywalker had escaped before Ren could destroy him; the girl was only 11 years old at the time, and the only one that he had felt a compulsion to spare._

 _When his trail of destruction reached her, she begged for her life, just as the others did. She hadn't stood out to him during their time at the academy, but when he faced towards her with his weapon ready, he had noticed something. He dropped his weapon and grabbed her. They were immersed in a vision that was lucid._

 _It was far in the future, Skywalker looked much older. He was on his knees in front of Ren, and she, this girl, was by his side, the power between them could be felt even through the vision, the look in their eyes was complete insanity, but the bond between them held complete power._

 _The vision stopped when she pulled away from him. He grabbed her by the shoulders and starred into her eyes as he tried desperately to see more of the vision, but she was able to block him out. In his rage, fueled by the murders he had just committed, she had proven to be one unique individual, for he had spared her during the total chaos regardless of the fury she caused not willing to look back to the vision with him._

 _He had spared her and, without Snokes permission, hidden her away on a different planet. First, he tried desperately to pry into her mind, using anything he could to do so. When he realized he was not yet strong enough to overpower her, he had used his advanced ability of manipulation to make a man and woman on the planet believe the 11 year old girl was theirs, and used the same manipulation on the girl herself, to make sure she would forget everything and anything that had happened the past 11 years, to be sure she would never have the urge to run away._

 _His intention was to not only hide his only secret from Snoke, for he would be furious of the sympathy he took upon her that day, but also to spare her the torment of living with Snoke as he had to, possibly the last bit of mercy he would ever provide._

 _He would come back for her when he was better trusted by Snoke, and better practiced in the dark side, when the light was suppressed and he could lead her himself in perfect discipline._

 _The first five years after he had hidden her away and earned his title 'Jedi Killer', he would check on her every so often to be sure his investment was safe, the vision he had seen the day he spared her replaying through his mind._

 _It had been about 10 years since Rens destruction of Luke Skywalkers Jedi Academy, when Kylo Ren had made sufficient advancement in his training with Snoke, he felt it would be safe to bring the idea of her up._

 _He told Snoke he had found her on the planet after he received a lead on the whereabouts of Skywalker, and that upon contact with her, saw a crucial vision. He showed Snoke this vision as if he had just seen it, and explained that it may have been in their interest for him to bring her back to the Starkiller Base to ensure her safety with the First Order, before the Resistance discovered her._

 _Snoke was quickly persuaded after seeing the vision of Skywalker at defeat. Ren, with no effort, had captured her as she was sleeping in the house of the same family he had left her with._

 _On the journey back to Starkiller Base he spent the time erasing her memory yet again, a fresh start. Even after 10 years, his mind wasn't strong enough to penetrate hers to see more of the vision that they had shared. He was afraid that wiping her memory had distorted the vision and that he would never see the rest of it again. Though, he was much stronger with the dark side than he had been when he last interacted with her, his conflict with the light was still too great, she was too impressionable and weak for him to be around her yet._

 _He demanded for her on a level of the Starkiller Base that no one else was kept, under tight surveillance and a strict routine. He wouldn't see her, but having routine reports on her and knowing she was kept secure on Starkiller Base was a thought that help keep his mind at ease._

Hux had put much doubt in the time and resources spent on the hunch Ren had for her during the last 5 years she had been on Starkiller Base.

Fortunately, Snoke had agreed to allow Ren to follow this hunch 5 years ago, regardless of Hux' opinion otherwise.

"Interesting" Snoke nodded, his chin leaning on his fragile hand, "Interesting." He repeated.

Snoke closed his eyes and was silent, Ren waiting for his feedback.

What seemed like an eternity went by, and Ren thought for a split second that the Supreme Leader had expired, when Snoke finally opened his eyes again proving otherwise, "You have a great desire to train her yourself."

"She's the perfect apprentice," Ren quickly explained, "With all of the psychical and psychological conditioning that she has endured her time here; she will not be easily broken. Holding no emotional attachments, she will be persuaded to the dark side with no struggle, without the temp of the light. Her mental and psychical state, combined with her affinity for the Force, she will become strong with the power of the dark side."

His confidence proved even past the distortion of the mask he spoke through, "With the advantage of her existence being an unknown to the Resistance, I feel she will be a vital component to the end of Skywalker, the vision is still strong." He envisioned it again in his mind, reminding Snoke of the image of Skywalker at his knees, the image that had persuaded Snoke to allow the girl on Starkiller Base 5 years ago.

"There is no such thing as no pull to the light," Snoke declared, "Only a greater tolerance to it. Keep that in mind as you are with her."

Ren felt a lump in his throat; it was almost as if Snoke was reading his mind. His struggle to ignore the light grew greater each day, regardless of his ruthless attempts to silence it.

"You have proven yourself to be a valuable member of the Knights of Ren and the First Order, Kylo Ren." Snoke continued, "Show her the practice of the dark side. Familiarize her with the direction of the First Order. Live out the vision. Keep General Hux involved with this process."

Ren twitched at the thought of Hux having anything to do with the influence of her.

Ren bowed his head, "Yes, Supreme Leader."

With that Snoke's image dissipated and Ren left, as tense as ever.

The doors slid open as he exited in a brisk march. He found General Hux not far away, "General," His presence always bringing those around into complete stillness, "We have matters to discuss."

Hux turned in spot to face Ren, pride pouring off of him from the consent given to him just before by the Supreme Leader.

Ren scowled behind his mask, "The individual kept in section B488. She escaped," He lifted his head higher, "By use of the Force. As predicted." The expression on Huxs face was as shocked as Ren wanted him to be.

Hux quickly found words, "You discussed this matter with Supreme Leader Snoke just now, I assume?"

"Correct," Ren wished he didn't have to involve Hux at all, "She is strong. Not yet completely aware of her power." Even through the mask the tone of pride spat back at Hux was distinct, "This situation needs to be dealt with in a precise manner. The Supreme Leader recommended you be a part of introducing her to her position."

"Position?" Hux said in disbelief, "What, position is that, exactly?"

Ren spoke with great confidence, "The First Order's secret edge. My apprentice."

* * *

When she came to, she didn't recognize her surroundings. She didn't dream, she wasn't mentally strained as she normally was from her slumber. In fact, it was one the most restful sleeps she had ever experienced.

She went to lift herself up to a sitting position on the metal bed, and stared around the dimly lit room. It was a long, narrow room, it was cold and everything was metallic, just as every other area she was used to.

It was certain she was in for a radical form of punishment for her actions. Yet, she felt oddly at ease. She closed her eyes and tried to see anything she could. Her mind was the clearest it had been in a long time. Maybe even ever. Her mind was large and open. It took no time for her to meditate when she closed her eyes.

Her mind wandered to something else than the usual, when she opened her eyes, she saw herself, sitting cross legged on the metal table in the long, dark room she was just in. Never had she meditated and seen herself. As she looked at herself, she noticed a slight glow around her shadowed figure.

She saw a small spark that kindled in the center of her. Approaching closer, she reached a hand out, to see if she could make physical contact to the spark.

A door opened, breaking her concentration, as she opened her eyes to the body that she was just trying to approach in her meditative state, she was half expecting to see herself reaching out in front of her.

The lights came on, and she was disoriented. Her eyes were adjusting on a tall, dark figure making its way toward her. Four troopers followed behind it.

Anxious, she stood up, crossing her arms, not knowing what to expect.

Her knees grew weak, and her arms dropped to her side as her eyes focused and she realized that she recognized the figure coming closer to her. It was almost as if the feeling of ease poured out of her, the rest of her body grew hot with distress.

It was the one who haunted her slumber, the one who would distort her peace, the rare chance she got any. She couldn't gather the strength to put any words together. It spoke, "You've recognized the power within you." The metallic voice gave her chills, as if the presence of the familiar stranger didn't already on its own, "It is a great privilege to be Force-Sensitive."

Was that why the sleep she just woke from was so at peace? It escaped out of her head into reality? She couldn't figure out which was worse. How was that even possible? Even if it never haunted her dreams again, she was sure its voice would. She looked up to the face, to the silver metal etching, "Force," She breathed, "Sensitive..?" Her hoarse voice cracked. She tried to maintain a stare to its face.

It stepped closer to her, "You will be training as my apprentice," She stared blankly at the masked figure. She didn't know what any of it meant but she couldn't find it in her to speak.

She stared with her eyes wide at the mask in front of her, scared to see what was behind. Her anxiety melted away as she focused. Everything around went to a blur other than her focal point of the silver face, just as she felt a slight opening, the anxiety came back in an instant and her back slammed to the wall beside her. There was a great pressure against her entire body. She could barely touch the floor with the tips of her toes and she could hardly breathe.

The dark stranger came closer and leaned over her, "Do not use the power of the Force against me." The voice bellowed, "You will fail." She could feel her face turning red, when the pressure released, she fell to the ground, gasping heavily for air.

Her vision was splotchy, by the time her eyes refocused and she sat up to look towards the door, the stranger was gone. She held her head with her elbows on her knees. She saw a pair of shoes directly in front of her, she lifted her head and starred at another stranger, this one wasn't masked and this one she did not recognize. He was like her. She sat up straight, eyebrows raised, starring at the red hair underneath his hat.

"General Hux," He said, his eyes looking down to her but his head remained level. He had a stone cold face and a tall, proper posture, "You will not try anything radical towards myself or any others for that matter. You will not be reprimanded for harming my soldiers this time, but rest assured if you turn your attack on anyone here again the consequences will be far more severe than those you've already endured."

Her throat was dry; she swallowed and nodded softly, afraid to look away from him.

"We are near to ending the Republic. The end of a regime that acquiesces to disorder. This fierce machine which we have built, upon which we stand currently, will bring an end to the Senate, to their cherished fleet. All remaining systems will bow to the First Order." He sounded well rehearsed, and was obviously someone in a much more powerful position than the troopers and droids she had usually dealt with.

"After close watch of you and your display of your connection to the Force, our Leader has decided that you are fit to begin training under the guidance of Kylo Ren. As he just displayed, he's not one for rebellion either."

 _He._ She thought to herself. The thing that haunted her wasn't a thing or a droid, it was a man.

She was attempting to process everything that the General was telling her. "Is that clear?" He asked, hardly moving his stone face.

She cleared her throat, "Yes," Not only was she not used to having so much conversation, but his cold front wasn't exactly welcoming to questions. She tried to imagine how long he had been watching her, and wondered what exactly the First Order was, and how long she had been a part of it for. She couldn't remember anything before this life. The fact that her routine would change was overwhelming enough as is, let alone the fact she had discovered a new brand of strength within her. Was it there this whole time?

Before, all she worried about was herself, now she was a part of a "fierce machine" that would put an end to the "Republic"? What did it all mean? She had so many questions but wasn't prepared to ask the General.

"This isn't a choice, this is your role. Should you choose to not cooperate, it will only make the process more difficult for yourself, so I suggest you follow directions and guidance provided to you, or suffer the consequences." He turned away sharply, "Follow me."

She hurried to her feet, following closely behind General Hux, deep thinking about everything that he had just told her. Normally, she took every chance she could to look into any open doors, this time she starred at the back of the Generals legs while she thought. He stopped and she snapped out of her trance to look up to him.

"You will wake up, an alarm will go off in your dorm, and you will report to this room," he said, opening the door in front of them, it was a smaller than the training area she was used to, but she knew better than to say anything that may come off as negative. He pivot turned to the left and continued on. Less than a minute down the hallway, the General stopped again, opening another door with his hand. He grabbed her wrist and she looked at him with shock. He placed it against the pad against the wall and pushed a few buttons paying her no attention starring at him.

She hadn't felt another person's skin. It was warm and it felt right to have him hold onto her wrist, even if it was a little tight. Sooner than she knew, he let go. The door panel chimed and the door in front of them slid open.

This area was about twice the size of the one she had previously been in, and less dull, it seemed. In many ways she was relieved, she was sure her actions would have her in solitary or worse. If she knew she would have been rewarded for acting out in this way, she would have done it a long time ago.

Her head was spinning from everything that had happened.

General Hux motioned his hand towards the key pad by the door, "Questions?" She shook her head, and with that he left.

She took the time to look around her new dorm, and eventually made her way into a hot shower, sitting on the floor as the water hit her, and she tried to clear her mind. She grabbed onto her throat, still sore from the earlier incident. As quick as the ease inside her was given it was taken away. Her mind wasn't any more settled as she walked out and dressed into her sleeping robes, and sat on the floor in a corner of the room. She sat cross legged, attempting to meditate. She wanted to experience visualizing herself again as she had before, but her mind was impossible to level.

Unable to escape into a meditative state, she let her mind race until it exhausted her to the point where she fell asleep on the floor, leading on a chair.

Her slumber was once again undisturbed. The cloaked figure that terrorized her didn't appear. This was the second slumber that was uninterrupted, and yet it somehow made her more nervous.

* * *

He stormed out, determined to make a different impression on her this time instead of the uncertain demeanor he had left her in earlier. He pointed to a group of troopers and didn't have to say a command for them to follow behind. Soon after, he saw General Hux, "I am going. Now." Hux' eyes followed him as he walked by, and Ren felt Hux reluctantly start walking behind him.

Kylo raised a hand and waved it, opening the metal door with an intense matter.

He saw her at the very end of the narrow room. The door opening so suddenly had startled her and she jumped to her feet. He saw a glimpse of light in her. It was a minuscule amount, even less than was in him, but nonetheless, it was light.

He felt the rage in him grow even more, as he remembered why it was that the glimpse of light was now within her. After years of conditioning her to be impenetrable to the light, it took only the slight touch of him to put her to sleep to fuse what little light was in him also into her. He walked toward her, feeling the tension grow as he got closer. Each step a greater push.

He was determined to rid what little light was in her immediately. Every interaction with her would now be much worse than he had envisioned before. It was the only way to counteract his earlier mistake.

As he stopped in front of her, he saw the light dissipate completely. He was pleasantly surprised. The presence of him alone was enough to strip the light from her, and the darkness grew within him from the capability to do so.

"You've recognized the power within you." He said through his mask, "It is a great privilege to be Force-Sensitive."

He starred into her eyes; the air was so stale in the room that he was almost able to hear her heartbeat, "Force," She breathed, "Sensitive..?" Her voice broke.

Taking one step closer, the tension between them was clear to him, "You will be training as my apprentice," He said, his eyes locked on hers, as if she could see his. He felt the pressure burning between them. He was eager to see if he could lock into her mind to play out the rest of the vision.

Suddenly, the tension was gone and his concentration was interrupted. He was in disbelief as he felt _her_ beginning to pry into _his_ mind. Without second thought, he regained his focus and overthrew her.

In one swift motion, he moved his right arm first to the left, then threw it to the right. She flew with it. He heard her gasp as her back slammed into the wall beside them. He lifted his left hand up to her and she followed. His hands weren't touching her, but he could feel her heart beating fast as he felt the anger in him flow, using the force to choke her to a state where she could hardly breathe.

Even on her tips of her toes, he towered over her. She was still gasping for air, "Do _**not**_ use the power of the Force against me." He said with great power, "You will fail." He could see feel her face turning red, and her small gasps of air getting shorter and shorter.

The action should have made the darkness grow; instead he felt the tinge of discomfort in himself. The discomfort was sympathy - light.

He let go, and as the pressure released, she fell to the ground as she gasped for air.

He stepped back, the conflict within him was too strong and he was confused greatly, his frustration was too much to bear and he didn't trust himself to not redirect the sense of light back to her. He needed guidance. He charged out the room, not needing to say anything to the General for him to take over.

Ren entered his chambers in a broken matter. He knelt before the display of his Grandfather's mask, "Forgive me. I feel it again. The pull to the light. Supreme Leader senses it."

Just when he felt he was far enough away from the light, he was proven wrong. The encounter with the girl should have been clear of the light. Her state of neutral was suppose to help him better focus on practicing the dark side.

It had been him. When he had wrapped his arms around her and put her to sleep with the Force, he had seen light at the last second, instead of dark. He had already tainted her, and he was ashamed. Yet he had taken it away from her as quickly as it was given.

When he had watched the light fade from her it made the darkness in him grow. Nonetheless, after that he had proved to himself he was too weak to continue to torment her. He saw images of her gasping on the floor. It made him uncomfortable, and he hated that.

"Show me again," He begged, "the power of the darkness, and I will let nothing stand in our way. Show me, Grandfather, and I will finish what you started." His emotion was building, and his anger in himself was too.

* * *

She woke up with the alarm beeping by her bed, she stood up, her body sore from sleeping in the unusual position of against the chair on the floor. She walked to her bed side table, and pressed a button, making the beeping stop. She pinned her hair up and went to her wardrobe area.

When she opened it, she found different looking robes than the ones she was used to. They were soft, dark fabric that were long and draped a lot more than her last one. She found them rather confusing to put on, and even when she did manage she wasn't convinced it was correct.

She slipped on her gloves, boots and belt. She walked up to the door, and to her surprise it slid open on its own. She peaked out the hallway, not seeing anyone. No trooper escort. She listened to the General's directions to go to the room where she would report to.

When she arrived, she walked in to an empty room. No droids, no troopers. She sighed, unsure of what to expect. She walked to the very end of the room, starring at a mirror.

She crossed her arms and stared blankly at herself. She turned to the door behind her that she entered, as if it was calling her. Sure enough, it opened, and the one who General Hux referred to the day before as Kylo Ren filed in.

Her body tensed as she felt a rush of anxiety take over again. She had been too distracted with him to notice three others following behind. Their robes they wore were the same she wore, and they looked like her.

She looked back to Kylo Ren, who was standing still to the side now, "You have practiced against basic training droids and the occasional trooper," He said, "Now, you will practice your skills against more difficult properties."

As the wall in front of them opened, into a very long room, she stumbled back. There were various types of barriers along the way.

"Run through the obstructions to the end and back." He stated, she glimpsed at the three men beside her, all who were starring forward in a lifeless manner. A buzz went off, startling her, as the three men darted outward into the long room. She quickly followed, running as fast as she could. After running for a few minutes, they approached a wall. Grasping any edges that stuck out, the men in front of her quickly scaled the wall as she struggled to keep up.

They jumped over the wall onto the ground again, running more into yet another obstacle. She watched them ahead of her as they approached each new barrier. On their return back, she continued to lag further behind.

At the end stretch, she felt herself falling behind even further. She finished a good minute behind them.

When she reached the end, she leaned over, panting furiously as if her lungs were on fire. She looked up at the three others that were hardly fazed. A droid approached them with large bottles of water, in which they guzzled down.

She stood up straight and approached the droid, who backed away, exiting the room. She followed it to the door as it slid shut in her face. She pressed the button beside the door, attempting to open it, but it wouldn't budge. She turned to face Ren on the other side of the room, standing in the same position as before she had raced. Her breath was very heavy; she didn't leave from beside the door.

"Can you bring the water droid back?" She asked him from across the way.

He didn't answer, but he didn't need to for her to know that he wasn't going to help.

She pressed her lips together, afraid to say anything to him, but furious that she was tormented like this. She glared at the three men, who still stood lifeless, not acknowledging her.

She walked past Ren to sit on a bench, but before she could he spoke again, "Now kill her." She turned to him in astonishment.

The three men quickly approached her, and she was startled. She had never practiced defense against anything other than a droid.

She pressed against a wall at first, in shock, when she felt cornered she finally fought back. First she had dipped down, throwing her leg around and sweeping the three men off their feet. She took the opportunity to jump over them to gain more space so she was no longer cornered. As she leaped over them, one of the men wrapped their hand around her ankle. She gasped, tripping to the ground.

The man pulled her towards him, the other two getting back on their feet. She turned on her back as the three of them towered over her. She quickly took her free leg and kicked the one that had grabbed her in the jaw, sending him backwards. Quickly scrambling to her feet to get away from the other two, she made her way back into the long room that they had just raced down.

She knew she couldn't outrun them, but as long as she got on top of the first wall at least she would have an advantage of being above them.

As she ran into the room she glanced at Ren, who was standing in the same potion he had been the whole time, arms behind his back. It was as if he was enjoying the sight of her struggling to save her life.

She felt the two men very close behind her. She felt one of them reaching out to grab her hair, which was no longer in the tight bun it was earlier. Their finger tips just inches away from grasping her. She heard her hair wisp in their fingertips.

She quickly dropped to the floor on her stomach her arms tucked to the side of her chest, tripping the both of them as they slid in front of her. She quickly pressed herself up, running over top of them.

She didn't have to look back to feel the other man she had kicked in the face just before catching up behind her now. She finally made it to the wall that they had scaled earlier; she hurled herself up and quickly found her way to the top ledge. Just as she reached her hand over the top and began pulling herself up, she was pulled down. The grasp around her ankle was vicious, she was sure it was broken. She screamed in agony and let go of the ledge of the wall.

She felt her stomach drop as she fell a good distance backwards. When her back hit the ground she was completely winded, and struggled to breathe. She saw the three men approach her fiercely. As she passed out, she was certain she was dead.

* * *

When he had entered the room where she stood waiting, he saw the fear in her that she couldn't hide. The fear he felt for him made the darkness in him grow. As she had pushed through the fit test, she kept up with the three droids that were built to look as if they were human that he had prepared for this moment.

She had finished a close minute behind them, much better than he had even expected, though, she was completely exhausted and failed to turn to the Force the entire time. When he had the water droid give water to the human droids and ignore her, he felt the fear for him weaken slightly, and anger burn in her instead.

Just as he had wanted.

"Can you bring the water droid back?" She had asked between heavy breaths in a polite yet rhetorical manner, as if he would be insane not to.

Unfortunately for her, he was.

He decided not to say anything; he felt it would make her even more frustrated, which it did.

He felt her fuming beside him as she walked by, yet she was too afraid to confront him about it. She was breathing heavily, wheezing almost. He saw the images of her gasping on the ground again. It had obviously paid a toll on her.

As quick as the images appeared in his head, he realized he couldn't ease now, "Now kill her." He commanded the droids. She spun to him in utter shock, and was quickly startled by the droids approaching her.

She pressed against the wall and he felt the helplessness radiate off of her.

He waited for her to use the Force, but she instead stuck with combat. He watched her almost getting away from them, as she was pulled back. He heard her hands screech against the floor as she tried to pull away. He could almost hear her heart beating out of her chest ss she swiftly turned and kicked the droid that was dragging her back, she had left him with a broken face as she scrambled up and raced away from the other two.

Kylo watched her burning stare at him as she ran past, the other two hot on her trail.

He raised a hand to the one with the broken face and pushed it up to get it to keep going for her.

She was just barely staying away from them. Ren expected her to call the Force any second, and as she scaled the wall, he saw the droid grasp her ankle.

When she was pulled down from the wall and winded, she had passed out from lack of air.

He quickly raised his hand, stopping the droids in their fast tracks and ordering them to stop. They filed out of the room; the one droid hardly had a face from her kick.

He starred at her on the ground, grabbed her, and placed her in her quarters. He didn't have to see through her robes to feel her injuries. As quickly as he had delivered her there he had left.

Marching back into his quarters, he meditated in front of his shrine to his Grandfather, getting rid of any unwanted feeling he might have. After a couple hours, he went back to the bridge to see if any of his ordered officers had found a lead on the Millennium Falcon or BB unit. When nothing was to report, he let it be known that something better be found soon, or there would be a hell of a price to pay.

On his way out, he felt discomfort inside of him, when promptly after, a chime went off at one of the officers station at the bridge. He turned, the officer spoke, "There's a request for a medical droid in dormitory 30, sir."

"No medical droid. Do not deliver anything to that dormitory without my permission." Ren ordered, the discomfort in him growing.

* * *

She woke up in extreme pain, not sure how long she had been passed out or how she was brought back to her dormitory.

Wincing as she lifted herself up, she walked to the door, she could hardly walk on the one ankle. She looked down to it. Starring at the swollen, bruised sight, she quickly recalled the feeling of her ankle being grasped with such impact as she was ripped to the ground.

She pressed the button on the side of the door. When it made a sound, she spoke, "I'm in need of a medical droid." She had asked, when there was no answer she didn't have it in her to stand any longer. She struggled to hobble to her bathroom, turning on a shower and sitting on the ground.

She slid her back further down against the metal of the shower wall as she closed her eyes. Her arms were limp to her side. Her ankle throbbed. She sat up slowly, reaching down to it. She wrapped her hands around and breathed deeply.

To her surprise, her hands began to vibrate. She looked up at them. Shaking fiercely, she put all of her energy into her ankle. She felt relief.

When the vibrating stopped she removed her hands. Her ankle was no longer swollen, nor bruised.

Astonished, she starred at her palms, wondering how it was possible. She quickly mimicked what she had done with her ankle with the rest of her body. When she was done she felt much better psychically, but mentally she was even more exhausted. It only took her head hitting her bed for her to sleep, to her will for a change.


	3. Chapter 3: Whatever It Takes

**Hi everyone!**

 **I recently got a review saying there was some confusion in my wording - I appreciate that review and I want to make sure everything is kyber crystal clear, so when I went to reply to the review it was a guest account and I couldn't get an exact area they were referring to!**

 **If anything seems weirdly worded or confusing, please let me know where you are referring to and I will revise.**

 **Thanks again :)**

* * *

The alarm woke her up, and she couldn't believe that it was already time to go back. She dragged herself out of bed to get prepared.

When she got to the room, the anxiety got worse. This time when the door called her to look, she didn't. Sure enough, she heard it open soon after her premonition, and Ren walked in.

He stood not as far away from her as he usually would, "You aren't as injured as you were yesterday." He noted. His voice sending a chill down her spine.

She didn't move and kept her face straight, though she was unbelievably blindsided that he could know that. She wasn't convinced that her straight face fooled him. He made her feel on edge, making it impossible to respond to him.

She shifted her glance away from him to the three men she had faced the day before. They faced forward, once again not acknowledging her.

The wall opened into the lengthy course just as it did the day before. She felt Kylo Rens stare burning into the back of her, as much as she wanted to turn to meet his stare and express the hatred she felt, she knew she didn't need to. Surely if he could sense she wasn't as injured anymore, he could feel her hatred.

She stood in line with the three men, starring forward at the dreadful track she was going to endure again.

An alarm sounded and just as the day before, she struggled to keep up. When she got to the end she was once again last. She wasn't surprised to see the droid deliver water to the men.

She took a few quick breaths, and without any warning, she darted in full sprint back to the wall on the track.

She heard the men drop the water and run after her, this time she had a better lead, but she could still feel they were close. She quickly scaled the wall, narrowly escaping their grasps again. As she balanced on the wall, she turned back to them and quickly pushed the first one down with a forceful kick to the head, bringing down another one beside him.

The last of the men had already scaled the wall beside her and she quickly turned, the wall was only as wide as her feet. she crossed one foot behind her and stood facing the man.

She quickly glanced down at the two men laying on the ground unconscious.

She continued to step backwards along the wall until she reached the end of it. She was out of options. She was visioning herself falling as hard to the ground as she did the day before. She could feel her heartbeat in her throat. The man in front of her leaped toward her, prepared to bring himself down if it meant bringing her with him. She quickly threw her hands in front of her, bracing herself.

When the anticipated impact hadn't happened, she opened her eyes, and perked up.

The man was frozen in spot. She was stunned. Finally, she found it in her to thrust forward. When she did, the man flew away from her, onto the ground below. She looked at the three of them below her, and she was dizzy with confusion.

She had thrown the man just as she did to the troopers a couple days before. She turned to Ren, who hadn't moved any. The sight of him just standing there this whole time, again, made her more furious than she was yesterday. She wondered how more mad she could possibly get. If she was his so called apprentice, why hadn't he guided her through anything?

"Now what?" She said loudly, throwing her arms out as she stood on top of the wall, her voice echoing through the long room.

She felt her face get hot as he, once again, didn't say anything. Hot with anger, she scaled halfway down the wall, jumping down the last half. She stood up and marched towards him. Hands balled in fists to her side, she had enough of being too afraid to ask questions, if every day meant running from sure death, she had nothing to lose, "I'm able to do that at will?" She spat out in an angry tone.

He finally moved, stepping closer to her, he waved his hand past her chest, shifting her the slightest. Her tough front was easily broken as shock consumed her.

"I am Force-Sensitive, like you" He said, "Can you feel it?"

She pressed her lips again and kept her brows low to her eyes, "Yes." She kept her chin held up.

The newfound nerve in her wasn't hidden, her fear for him dwindling and being replaced instead with anger and frustration.

"Why _can_ I feel it?" She asked.

He walked past her, and she sighed in disbelief. She was tired of being ignored. He opened the door and turned back to her, "Follow me."

She swallowed hard, fear slowly coming back as she anxiously thought of what was in store for her. She walked toward him, and he walked out the door. She followed closely behind. Seeing more people like her, instead of droids, each individual would go stiff as they walked by, she looked to the back of Ren and was so tempted to know what was going on inside his head.

The first time he stood in front of her the other day, she had felt herself hone into him. His actions against her for that convinced her not to try again, but it didn't mean the idea was any less enticing.

Finally, they got to a different room. This one was much different than any she had ever seen. It was lit in dim, soft glowing lights and it had a large glass wall. He walked in stood in front of the glass wall on the opposite end of the room, she stood in the doorway, unable to comprehend what she was viewing.

It was a vast, open world on the other side of glass. She quickly stepped closer until she was nearly pressed against it, starring into the open. The stars shone bright and her mind was completely distracted.

His voice pulled her out of the distraction, "Our greatest enemies are a group called the Resistance. We have just destroyed their capital, the New Republic, bringing us even closer to the near end of their existence. The only thing left for them is the last Jedi, the only other Force-Sensitive than ourselves." She couldn't look away from the star field, but listened to him intently as he spoke, "His power is not to be taken lightly, but ours will be stronger."

She turned to him, she was standing on the edge of the glass wall closest to the door, and him on the other end of the room. Her confidence she just had was decreasing and her mind was in shambles.

"How did you get out of my dreams? I didn't think you were real," She had a lump in her throat as if to cry but it only made here more frustrated than anything, "After tormenting my slumber for as long as I can remember, you now torment my reality." Her words were emotional and her eyes were welling up.

"I don't understand it. _Any_ of it," She said not moving from place, "I don't understand why I am Force-Sensitive, or how you know so many things about me that I hardly know of myself. I don't know what I've done for you to _despise_ me so much as to put me through such a torturous life, yet no matter the hate or fear I feel for you, I can't help but feel a pull to you. Why is that?"

He blinked in shock behind his mask, if she felt a pull to him like she was saying, maybe he hadn't erased too much of her mind after all. Perhaps there was a way to see the rest of the vision she had blocked him out from so long ago, without reminding her of the past.

He had contemplated what possibilities could arise if he tried to revive her memories of the past, to when they had seen the vision together. He wasn't confident if bringing back her memory was something he could even do.

If her memory was unable to bring back, he could project his memory onto her. With this, he feared she would only see very things that had caused her to close her mind from him so many years ago, destroying all the effort.

On the other hand, he could continue to train her until she grew stronger with the Force, and see if with her strength in the dark side would provoke the vision again.

Time was precious now, he was so curious to see the rest of their fate, seeing what would lead them to the vision would make it so much easier to fulfill.

He was constantly trying to think of alternatives to trigger the vision again.

"The dark side of the Force is fueled by energy generated from emotions such as anger and frustration." He explained, "Your emotional state is right where it should be."

She blinked in shock as he just did himself, it was hard to pick up his tone, was she suppose to pick up some sort of reassurance from that? As if her feeling of insanity was fine?

"I can't even remember a life before this place," Her voice broke as it got louder, "Are you to blame for that?" She stepped closer to him.

"I am," He admitted, "Trust me when I say your circumstances have been delicate in comparison to some." He could feel himself getting frustrated thinking of all the merciless tests he had endured ruthlessly.

She wasn't convinced, "General Hux said I could make this easy by following everything that is told," She stared at the mask.

He spoke before she could finish her thought, "I strongly urge you not to make this difficult."

The air between them was still. Ren broke the silence, impatient to see if the vision would be present again, "You are going to direct your frustration and emotions into a meditative state, I will meet you there. I know you are well practiced in meditation. This time use all of your resentment and anger that has risen."

Her mind was still in complete disorder and she watched him sit, crossing his legs. He didn't want her getting any closer, he was cautious that any contact might be detrimental. The last time he had made contact her it had left her with a tainted spark inside her.

She walked toward him, he spoke loudly and she stopped moving, "You can sit where you are." She felt a gentle push down on her body, a suggestion almost, accompanied by a slight humming sound, but she resisted his suggestion, slowly stepping one foot closer.

Ren had used up his only gentle gesture he had for her, as he held a hand up with much greater power and she was frozen in spot, similar to the way he would stop her in her tracks when he haunted her dreams in the past.

All those times he held her in a frozen state, helpless to his command. The thought of all the time he had spent tormenting her made her even more frustrated, her body shaking as she slowly stepped closer to him.

He stood up, the pressure heightened. The humming sound was almost deafening. Each step she took was more pressure, but she was close to resisting him and he felt it. The push against each other was struggle for the both of them.

 _"Do you think this was all by choice?"_ He bellowed.

The volume and tone of his voice startled her. He saw the opportunity of weakness and lunged towards her, pushing both arms out, he pushed quickly up to her. His fury was too strong to care about the chance of what the action of making contact with her would entail. His hands nearly touching her head. She hardly had time to gasp before the humming switched to an ear piercing screech, and the pressure between them moved to solely inside her head.

The pain so unbearable she couldn't even see straight, _Imagine,_ She heard the unfamiliar voice inside her head, screaming even louder than the ear piercing screech that accompanied Rens power, _Feeling this. Constantly._

She felt him push her to her knees, the agony was too much to even keep her eyes open, or make a sound. _Doing anything to escape it. Whatever it takes._ When he had finally released, she fell to his feet. She was so drained she couldn't gasp or scream if she wanted to.

The feeling of losing consciousness crept in, but he wasn't so kind to let that happen. She felt him place his hands on either side of her head. The moment he pressed into her temples with his gloved hands an excruciating surge went through her brain, down through her neck, spine and then arms and legs. She grimaced as her body convulsed. He was determined to find the vision.

She felt him searching through her mind for something as quick flashes of her previous training area, her handful of times in solitary, her emotional spikes, her meditative experiences where he wouldn't have able to reach her, her restless slumbers where she couldn't escape him, and now this.

Finally, she gained control again as she arched her back her eyes shot open. She stared up at his mask, upside down above her. She pushed against his surge, slowing pulling herself up, shaking. She was sitting on the floor and his hands were still on her head, she stood up, and as he pushed harder, she pushed harder back.

Eventually, she had made it so she was standing.

 _Quit resisting me!_ The voice roared inside of her again.

She closed her eyes, _Stop!_ She managed to shout back to the voice in her head.

With that, she felt his power increase she could almost hear the screeching again as he tried to open her mind to himself again.

Quickly, she remembered the words he just spoke, _'_ **The dark side of the Force is fueled by energy generated from emotions such as anger and frustration.'**

Possibly the first bit of guidance he had given her. She used it.

She focused all the hatred built up in her toward him, the resentment for all the restless nights, the emotional distress and confusion. She brought her hands to his at the sides of her head with the last push she had in her, and the contact had sent her shooting forward and him in the opposite direction behind her.

The surge still shaking her body as slid across the ground of the room, she picked herself up from the floor as quick as she could and raised a hand to him, her body was still quivering from the aftershock.

As quick as she was ready, so was he.

 _You are much stronger when you use the anger in you, can't you feel it?_

His mind must have been very off balance, because for the first time, she was able to read something off him the slightest. It wasn't a clear answer but it was a feeling in her that made her realize, "Your actions aren't because you despise me," She said, "It's fuel to the dark side of the Force inside me." The first real answer she got from him, and it wasn't at his will.

It fueled his anger more, and she lost the minor breach into him she had.

She felt her power of the Force push off of her, trying to freeze him as he had done to her so many times, but he resisted against her. In one swift movement, he leaped closer her, reached at his hip, grabbed a handle hanging from his side. A loud crackle filled the room as a long, red blade ignited out of the handle in his hand.

She was taken aback, but knew better now than to let her guard down, she starred at the stunning sight of what he held beside him.

She lifted another hand and listened to his words again, remembering all the times he had tormented her without reason. How he tormented her even more, without explanation.

He was making his way slowly but certainly, his weapon at the ready. Under his mask his jaw was clenched and sweat was pouring off of him, he was shaking with rage and his emotions where now beyond his control. Whatever he did now wouldn't be as strategically thought out.

She was unable to move from her stance, as she put all of her energy into keeping him moving slow, but soon he would reach her.

"I saw you... searching through my mind... while you held my head. M-Maybe I can help you... find what you want." She was struggling to talk over the cackle and energy sparking off his weapon, trying to project a calm manner while focusing all of her frustration and resentment towards him in the power of the Force she was using against him, "I'm going to let go." She said in the most persuasive manner she could.

The moment she released her push against him, he sprinted toward her, she felt him push her viciously against he wall, her arms pinned down her side. She closed her eyes as she felt a rush of heat. She was wincing as the screeching sounds around her left her too terrified to look.

When it finally stopped, she opened her eyes and looked up to him, he was the closest he had been to her yet. She wasn't sure if the heat she could feel against her was radiating off his weapon or his body. She tried not to look away from his face, as badly as she wanted to stare at the fiery weapon he held close to them.

His chest was moving fast and his heavy breath was distorted through his mask, a sound that was very unnerving.

Something inside her told her she should be afraid, but the curiosity in her was greater than the fear was.

"Was that your voice that was inside my head?" She whispered. His chest stopped moving, the sound of his heavy breath silenced. She wandered her eyes away from his mask, to his thick robes. Not an inch of what was underneath them to display.

The air was intense between them, his chest remained still and the only sound was the crackling buzz of his weapon beside them. She reached out to the voice in her mind, the one she was confident was his own.

 _Let me see you._ She requested softly.

She slowly reached her hand up in the short distance between them and gave the covering over his head a gentle suggestive push through the Force. She saw it shake slightly, and felt no sign of resistance from him. Her heart was racing at the thought of what could be so bad underneath to have to hide under such thick cover.

His face relaxed from it's furious state, and his shoulders lowered the slightest. He was as exhausted as she was, and he nearly followed her soft command as he studied her face. It was glowing red from his ignited lightsaber. Her face looked much like it did 15 years ago after they had seen the vision together.

Right after she had pulled them both out of the vision and denied his access back in.

His moment of peace was easily distorted by the one thought. He released his breath in a scream. With a giant thrust, he pushed his lightsaber into the wall beside her again as she jumped to the side, further away from it, but wide eyed at the sight. The gashes in the wall from his weapon left glowing, the metal melting with each blow, the sound was uncomfortable.

She held her breath as she tensely watched him lash out, making his way further away from her and closer to the door. As much as she wanted to follow him, she also didn't.

When he left the room she could hear him continue his fit, the sounds of his lashing out getting further and further away.

Eventually, she could no longer hear his destructive sounds, she knew he was nowhere near her, yet it didn't feel like he had left.

* * *

 _ **Please let me know how you are liking it so far, and don't be shy to point out any mistakes I have made or make any suggestions. Thank you:)**_


	4. Chapter 4: The Last Jedi

She didn't leave the room that was partially destroyed. Instead she sat in the middle of it, staring in awe at the scars on the walls that were glowing less and less.

Eventually, she spun around to the display of the star field. Taking her time to stare out, thinking about the unique weapon he yielded, the disorderly blade that beamed out from the cross-guard handle, and the sparks of energy that bounced off of it.

She didn't let her mind race any longer, easing into a meditative state, she listened to his guidance from earlier and focused on the frustration and confusion to fuel her meditation. Part of her hoped he would still meet her as he said he would.

She wandered around an unfamiliar place. It was definitely no peaceful blue water hole. She yelled out to the vast fog, "Hello?" Her voice echoed endlessly. The empty feeling in her was enough to be sure he wasn't around, but she kept pushing through the fog.

The fog was getting thicker and eventually she couldn't move through it. She struggled to get away, feeling claustrophobic.

Eventually, when she felt she couldn't go any further, she pulled herself out of the state of meditation. She glanced once more at the destructed walls on her way out and went out to the hallway back towards her dormitory. There, she saw his trail continue against the walls of the hallway.

The scars that lined the walls stopped suddenly, turning toward the opposite direction of her dormitory. She thought she better not follow them any longer, as continued to her quarters. She quickly ate the food that was delivered to her and laid on her bed, each day proving to herself that she could be more exhausted than the last.

* * *

As he stormed towards his quarters, his saber continued to be ignited, destructing anything in his way. Anyone who stood ahead of him cleared quickly, and those who weren't quick enough paid the price.

When he reached his room he withdrew the blade of his lightsaber, and attached it back to his side. He fell to the ground in front of his shine to his Grandfather, ripping his hood, then helmet, placing it in the smoldering ashes beside him.

He gasped for clear air, as his being was immersed in major conflict. If he attempted to bring her memory back, it could possibly trigger the vision again, but it could also bring back all the memories that had made her so closed minded to him, denying him access to the vision anyway. It would destroy all the time and efforts put into her current state.

If he didn't try, he may never see the vision again, making it a blind trail to figuring out how to make the vision a reality.

If he did, he risked everything that she had been trained for.

His trail of anger her had left behind him helped blow some steam, he eventually managed to gather his emotions, closed his eyes, and meditated, reaching out again for guidance.

* * *

The next day she returned to the training facility, anxious to see what was in store after the events of the session before. She paced back and forth until she knew that he was close, when she stopped and stared at the door hastily.

When Ren walked in, he kept his usual distance. She cleared her throat to break the sharp silence that made her uncomfortable.

"You channeled your anger and emotions in a great way."

She listened attentively as he spoke, "You were right. I **was** looking for something," He stepped towards her, to her surprise.

At his first step, she found herself lifting an arm to him, a powerful hum surged through her and out, stopping his momentum.

" _Don't_ touch me." She spat.

"I won't hurt you," His mechanical voice assured, with a soft tone that was new to her. He was gently pushing against her defense, and she was aware that he wasn't using more than a pinch of his potential. She was skeptical, staring into the mask.

"Tell me what you are looking for." She demanded.

"Let me show you." He countered, to her surprise.

She pushed harder. After the pain he inflicted on her during their last encounter, she was in no position to let him any closer. He was too unpredictable and she was done being played with. He quit pushing against her, and instead stepped back at will. She knew better now than to ease her defensive push against him, but it didn't mean that she wasn't anxious to know what his motive of withdrawing was.

She watched his arms raise as he lifted his hands to his head, pressing to the sides, the front of his mask popped out, and the it hissed as it released off of his head. He pulled the helmet off and placed it on a table beside them.

She was in awe.

She had expected a lot worse under the facade that concealed him entirely. His waves of jet black hair framed his pale, straight face, and his dark eyes, though not animated, still burned as they looked directly into hers, making it impossible to hold concentration any longer. She dropped her arms as he closed the distance between them with only a few swift strides. He lifted his hand up and pressed the gloved hand against her forehead. Her eyes closed as Ren played the vision in her mind for her. It was brief, but powerful.

She opened her eyes when he pulled his hand away from her, she gazed into his eyes again, "That was you and I?" She asked in a breathless whisper, her eyes full of wonder. He nodded once and she was quick to show her curiosity, "Who was at their knees to us?" A question that made his pride swell. Her eyes were moving quickly around his exposed face as her mind raced.

"The last Jedi," His voice shouldn't have surprised her, for it was the voice that had been in her head the day before, just as she suspected, "We experienced this vision together during our first encounter 15 years ago. You don't remember your past because I wiped your memory of it." His tone was as-matter-of-fact, as if it shouldn't be as insane as it was.

She flinched at the revelation, "What?"

The air between them grew hot, fueled by her change of emotion, "I will explain more as your training advances." His voice was silk compared to when it was distorted through the mask he always wore.

Each moment with him was only gaining her more confusion, and less closure. She unwillingly pulled her eyes away from his, and gazed to the ground instead. She shifted her weight back, crossing her arms and letting out a deep sigh, "15 years ago? How long have I been here for? What could have happened to warrant wiping my memory?" Her tone was more irritated now.

"Certain events of the past," He said, referring to his slaughter of the Jedi, "You were in the line of a gruesome purge. Luckily for you, we shared the vision and your life was spared. You proved to be a valuable part of the objective to end the last Jedi, Luke Skywalker." He watched carefully to see if his name would trigger anything, but her eyes and mind were blank.

He omitted the part about her denying him access back into the vision for he didn't want to spark her interest to why she might have done so. Her commitment to protect the vision from him in order to not jeopardize the safety of Skywalker made him sick to his stomach, but he quickly reminded himself that the bond she once shared to him was no longer there. He had made sure of that.

"I wiped your memory to benefit your training. A clear mind to focus on only the present in order to make the vision a reality. The past 5 years on Starkiller Base being your only recollection."

She was overwhelmed, "Can you bring all that back to me?"

He shook his head, "Not until you advance further in your training. Not until we see the rest of the vision." He knew bringing her memory back wouldn't be beneficial in any way, and he wasn't sure if he even could revive her memories. He needed leverage, so he made it as if he could.

She was hot with rage that she was struggling to keep in. How dare he hold her memory away from her? She forced her temper down as her mind twisted at all the information she was given. She took several minutes to think and he didn't speak as she did. Eventually, she came to the verdict that if advancing in her training was what it would take to earn her memory back from him, then it was a win-win. She had too much to learn about the Force, and he was clearly the one to show her.

For a brief second, the thought of training by his side and eventually learning everything she could from him to then use it against him flickered in her racing thoughts. It was only a flash across her mind, but she quickly buried it, in fear that he would catch on, since he had proven to have a keen sense of reading her already.

There was definitely plenty to think about, but the thing that left her the most uncertain was the vision.

"How do we see the rest of it?" She asked, looking back up at him, "The vision?"

"We need to continue your training. Try various strategies to trigger it again."

She nodded, as she slowly gathered the courage to say what was on her mind, being mindful of how to deliver her words, "You've realized you can't force your way into me to see it," The flashes of their last encounter flickered between the minds of both of them, "You've shared all of this information with me in a different effort." She studied his face, seeing if he would give any indication she had the right idea, "So we can work together and not against one another... is that correct?"

He didn't answer, a clear indication her assumptions were correct, "At this moment, our main lead to the location of Skywalker is finding a droid that has a map leading to him."

Kylo looked at her face, as it had changed from anxious, to angry, to curious and now to a leveled neutral. She was strong with the capability of channeling her emotions into what was important, a skill that was useful, and one that not even he could master.

He was confident it was because of him she could be thankful for that, for he rid her memory of anything that would leave her emotional state in a vulnerable position.

"Enough talking," He didn't need to tell her for her to follow him across the room. A trooper entered, it's energy nervous.

Ren walked up to the Trooper, "Step back," As quickly as he had commanded, the trooper listened.

"Step forward," This time when Ren spoke it was much different. The Trooper stepped forward.

He turned to her, he could still see the wonder in her face as she stared at his, "Did you notice anything different between those two commands?"

She nodded, "The second. You used the Force."

"Of course any trooper will listen to my word, the Force isn't necessary." He walked to her side, "You, however, hold no authority," She looked at the dark circles under his eyes, "Try." His voice much easier to listen to than the nightmarish one that was conveyed out his mask.

She reluctantly looked away from his face, and walked up to the trooper, as she approached, she felt Ren pull his power away from the solider. "Give me your weapon," She said. The trooper did not move, she felt her cheeks get hot with embarrassment. She cleared her throat and spoke with more assertiveness, "Give. Me. Your. Weapon." The trooper still didn't move, and her embarrassment changed to frustration.

Breathing deep, she let the frustration guide her command, "Give me your weapon." Her voice said with pure confidence.

This time the troopers arm was shaking, beginning to lift to her.

"Don't give her the weapon," She heard his voice as it negated her effort, but didn't turn her concentration away from the trooper in front of her. Instant to his word, the troopers arm had stopped moving, and her power dwindled away completely. She inhaled, his challenge only fueling her power with annoyance, "Give me your weapon." Her tone loud and significant.

The trooper was struggling as it lifted his hand to her, she could feel Rens influence pushing against hers. She continued to stare at the trooper, channeling all her energy and not losing control. She watched as the trooper continued to shake, when its arm finally reached hers, and released the blaster to her hand.

She grasped the blaster and turned to Ren, she couldn't help but let a smirk escape on her lips. He lifted his eyebrows the slightest.

The door slid open and a small group of troopers filed in, blasters in hand. Her smirk went away almost as soon as she had put it on.

"Kill her," He commanded them. Her eyes went wide as she backed up quickly, aiming the blaster toward them, she fired several times at them and hit one trooper.

Just as she lifted her other hand to the blaster for stability, she closed one eye to aim, and felt the blaster pull out of her grip. She gasped as she watched it fly into Rens possession. She turned to the group of troopers, weaponless, as they began shooting at her, she held her hand out and dodged the blaster shots as she attempted to do the same as Ren had just displayed. It was hard to focus on each blaster as the troopers moved around her. She felt her concentration shaking between blasters as the troopers moved around.

Eventually, she was able to grab focus on a blaster long enough, and she felt it pull away from the grasp of the soilder and towards her. When she had felt Rens energy trying to redirect it in mid air, she focused harder to make sure it made its way to her instead of him.

When it was in her hands, the pull from him didn't stop. She desperately shot the blaster, missing several times due to his pull making it very difficult to keep a steady hand, but alarming the troopers to stop shooting at her and taking cover. She stopped shooting, and let go of the pull to the blaster as it flew towards Ren. "Stop shooting!" She yelled, holding up at hand. The troopers all froze in place, she sighed in disbelief. With all of her power, she threw her other hand across and watched as the entire group of troopers were lifted off their feet, following the motion of her hand, and thrown into the side of the wall.

The sound of their armor clashing against the wall and then their dead wait hitting the ground was satisfying.

She turned to him, straightening her posture and placing her arms to her side, "I would appreciate it if you stopped making orders to kill me."

He didn't pay any attention to the pile of troopers as he didn't take his sight away from her. Her confidence pouring off of her made him nearly as satisfied in himself as she was. "That's enough for now," He said, "We will continue to practice the basic use of the Force each day." He made his way towards the door, grabbing his helmet. Her heart dropped. She didn't want him to put it back on.

"Can I at least have the answer to one question. One that has bothered me as long as I _can_ remember," He waited with his helmet in his arms to his side, not prepared to promise her anything.

"What's my name?" She asked.

He stared into her anxious eyes, and decided it could do no harm, "Violet."

* * *

Each session, he had a new way to test the power of the Force. She had lost track of the days since her first practice with him. She was beginning to feel as though each lesson was coming quicker than the last. He hadn't taken his helmet off since the one time that felt so long ago. He would rarely show any form of praise, but his demeanor seemed much more satisfied than when she had first started training under his guidance.

She knew that she should be more resentful for him since he revealed the information about wiping her memory, but when she was told that more information would arise the more she advanced, it gave her hope. Hope that she wasn't just a presence subject to a seemingly meaningless routine. After seeing the vision he had shared with her, it made her more anxious to find out more about her place in all of this. He had told her she played a role in achieving a long desired objective, and that made her feel of importance.

Each day spent practicing the Force, she felt more confidence and more determined to prove she could live up to the vision.

She needed him to show her more about the Force. If advancing in training would gain her more information, it seemed like she was in no disadvantage.

She would always arrive first to the room they trained in each day, but wouldn't have to wait long before she felt him as he got closer. When he entered today, he didn't leave the doorway, "Follow me," She nodded and quickly caught up to his trail.

They had gone the furthest she had ever been, down several hallways and up many levels. She followed closely behind him, his hood was down but his helmet was on. She watched him march, his fists always balled up and his arms never touching his sides.

When he turned into a room, she followed with studying eyes. It was a large room, once again with a glass section displaying the star field. Violet approached it almost immediately, as awestruck as the last.

"Sit down. Meditate." his distorted voice said. She turned to see him standing closer than expected.

She turned back to the sight of the open space and slowly stepped back, lowering her body to the floor, crossing her legs together and eventually closing her eyes, not wanting to tear them from the beautiful sight of the vast star field.

"Now concentrate," he continued through his robotic tone, "As you did before, on the things that fuel your anger. Your pain. Your fear."

She remembered how much he had scared her before, tormenting her dreams. How he had been pushing her to her limits, close to death, and above all, how he had revealed to her the fact he had wiped her memory and held it against her.

It didn't take long for her to begin fuming, she felt her cheeks get hot and she struggled to focus as she breathed deep.

"Follow the meditation that is fueled by these emotions. It will give you the direction you need to channel your power in the dark side." She began breathing heavier, in efforts to control herself from getting any more emotional.

It was a battle within to use these emotions to ease into meditation. Her eyes stayed closed as he watched her face twitch and scrunch, her struggle showing outside as much as he felt it inside of her.

Her hairline was getting more moist by the second as as beads of sweat began to fall down her face.

After much struggle, she finally found mental salvage in the fight to balance the negative emotions and she slipped into a meditative state. This was much different than the blue water hole she had meditated to in her past, it wasn't like the vast empty fog that closed in on her, either.

First it started off with just a long room, lit in even strips, making the end of the room seem so far away. At the furthest wall, a handle was displayed that looked much like the one Ren held on his side. She walked towards it, as she got near the hallway stretched further. She began to run, the floor underneath her gave out as she fell into a dark murky body of water. She tried to swim up to get air, the surface never came, a blue glow caught her attention beneath her. She followed it, and as she got closer she noticed it was the handle again, this time a blue blade beaming out of it.

Just as she was about to grab it the water drained and she collapsed to the ground, she starred up where the weapon was to see it was gone. She stood up, gasping for air.

It was a constant flash of chaos, with stressful situations arising at every turn. As she would begin to run the ground would shift and her body would plummet through it into a new terrain, strange objects raced above her in the dark sky, the sound of them screaming by and nearly deafening her.

When she began to get too frustrated of no progress, she pulled out of the meditative state. Her heart was nearly beating out of her chest and her robes were soaked in her cold sweat. She starred at the sight of the star field in front of her again, catching her breath and reflecting on what the blue beaming weapon meant, and why she couldn't get to it.

"Impressive." His voice shouldn't have surprised her, but she jolted in her spot on the ground as she turned her head to her side to face him. She quickly stood up, staring at his mask, "You were quite some time." He said.

She felt her stomach grumble and she raised a hand to it. He walked to her and raised his hand to her forehead, not touching but so very close to.

Before she could talk about her meditative experience, her head tilted back and she wasn't convinced it was his doing. She closed her eyes as his gloved hand made contact to her forehead. She felt him begin to push into her head, and her face scrunched as he scoured her mind.

She winced as she felt him pushing into her mind harder, "You're... Hurting... Me." She managed to say with her jaw clenched.

He withdrew his power at once, and she felt the tension in her body release as she starred at the emotionless mask with hard eyes.

With almost no hesitation, he lifted his hands to his helmet and she heard it hiss, as he pulled it off and dropped it to the ground with a loud thunk beside them. Her heavy breathing was brought to a halt as she held it and watched his eyes burn into hers, his hands raised to the sides of her head as his gloved hands held her head.

"Focus." His low voice whispered. The crazy look in his eyes was enough to know not to say anything.

She felt the same push he had just used, though this time she couldn't close her eyes, she couldn't tear her gaze away from his. His emotionless expression didn't change as he once again showed her the vision. When it ended, she starred back at him in silence. They waited for the vision to continue. When it didn't, he would repeat it again.

Each time with more push and power. Each time her chest and body was tighter. Every time the vision ended she watched his face get more and more frustrated, until eventually after multiple efforts, his face was flushed and she felt him shaking almost as much as she was. She lifted her hands to grasp his wrists. Desperate for the vision to continue, so this would end. Despite his efforts, it was not triggering it. His expression of frustration was truly more terrifying than the mask he wore.

Finally, his actions where far too uncomfortable, and fear set in, she pushed him away, gasping for air as she broke free. He stumbled back, his eyes wide with astonishment. They quickly narrowed as he glared, she glanced quick to his waist at the handle that clipped onto him.

Her heart was racing as she feared to retaliate to him any more, "I tried," She said with a broken voice and her eyebrows furrowed. He screamed in dissatisfaction, igniting his light saber and lunging to a nearby target as he lashed out several times, "I tried!" She yelled again bravely over the humming and clashing of his blows. His teeth were barred as he turned to her, his weapon still sparking at his side. "Try harder!" He yelled between his teeth, his scream echoing in her head. With a face of red, he turned back to his target for once last slash as he slipped his saber back to his side. She watched his back to her as his shoulders moved heavily up and down, "I saw something." She managed to choke out.

He leaned over quick to groan as he stood back up and walked towards her, pressing his lips together and letting his eyes wander around before letting out one last deep breath and looking to her, "What... did you see?"

"Something just like that," she pointed at the handle on his belt.

His eyes became a little less harsh and slightly more curious, "A light saber. What did it look like?"

"It was blue. It's beam much smoother than yours." She explained, she was relieved as she felt his energy mellowing, "I tried to grab it many times. I couldn't get to it." She waited for his response, his temperament was uncertain and his mood swings gave her a mental whiplash.

He pulled away, grabbing his helmet from the ground and placing it back on, all while walking towards the door. When it opened two guards stood outside, "Show her back to her quarters."


	5. Chapter 5: A Pull

She stood in the hot water that poured down her in the shower, concentrating on the stream of water below as she tried to manipulate the path of its stream towards the drain with the Force.

Violet had lost track of time as she turned off the water and made her way to her bed in her sleeping robes. She laid down with no desire to sleep, gathering the thoughts in her mind, and sorting it into the least mess it could be. She found herself with only the choice of slipping into meditative state as she sat up on her bed and crossed her legs.

She was shocked when she reached the state and saw she was in her room, she stood up and looked around to note the differences. There weren't many. She noticed her body sitting cross legged on her bed, as it was in real life. It was another out of body experience, much like the one she had experience just before she had met Kylo Ren.

She stared at herself in wonder. She noticed on her hip, there hung the handle of the blue light saber she had chased in her last meditative experience. She quickly reached for it and this time, to her pleasant surprise, was able to grab it. She smiled in satisfaction, but it was soon to go away as she felt the handle rip out of her hand.

"That's mine," She spun around towards the voice that had startled her. A young boy stood at the doorway, holding the handle proudly, "I built it."

Violet stared in amazement, "You built it?" He grinned and nodded, "How?"

"Well, technically, I built it." She spun around again, this time a young man stood before her, much closer than the boy had been standing by her. She turned to where the young boy was, and he was no longer there. She turned back to the young man, "You built it?" She studied his face and dark robes as he nodded, pride filling his face. "Who are you?"

"Anakin," He smiled. It made her and the energy of the meditation warm. "Anakin," She said, "How did _you_ build that, Anakin?"

"Let me show you," She watched as he waved his arm and their surroundings changed, he began walking into a vast open field. She stumbled as she followed him, staring at the foliage and greenery around them in complete astonishment.

She was losing sight of him, so she quickly sped up and followed him into the side of a large mountain. They didn't have to walk too far in to reach an area that sparkled in a manner that was hypnotizing. Anakin's voice broke Violet's trance, "First you need to grab a kyber crystal."

"A kyber crystal." Violet recited back, watching him grab one from the walls.

Anakin nodded, and turned, waving his arm again. The walls shifted and turned, and when they stopped Violet looked around the room, Anakin was sitting at a table with various metal pieces and tools, working on building the handle. Violet only glanced around the workshop area for a brief moment before gluing her eyes to Anakins hands. He constructed a handle himself, and eventually put the crystal inside.

Violet watched very intently. She enjoyed the presence of Anakin, his persistence and ease of building the lightsaber was captivating. She made sure to pay complete attention to the detail he gave to his light saber.

Much time had past, Violet had hardly noticed that they hadn't said anything to each other the entire time. When he stood up and held the handle out, a long blue blade beamed out of it. His face was proud, and his energy was warm. Violet smiled the hardest she ever had.

His saber began to flicker. It quickly changed to red, and his eyes grew a sight of insanity, his once warm energy was now diminished completely as the meditation heavy with rage. Violet felt her stomach twist, a sharp pinch that had her keeling over.

She screamed in agony.

Consumed with fear, adrenaline pushed herself to shuffle backwards away from him, he moved towards her and began slashing his saber.

She was about to wake up from the meditative state to escape, when she was surprised by a figure that jumped over her, countering Anakin's slashes with their blue saber beam. She didn't recognize the man that was fighting against Anakin.

She continued to step back trying to get further away from the duel, but unable to look away from it. She stood up straight against the pain of her stomach and stared at the mesmerizing streaks and listened to the intense buzzing as the two continued to slash their sabers against each other.

Before her eyes, the man fighting against Anakin vanished, and Anakin turned back to her, his look of insanity only greater. She quickly pulled herself out of the meditation, unable to face him any longer.

Violet came to with her heart racing, and her breath short. The image of his face full of insanity still burned in her vision. She didn't spend too much time reflecting on the meditation until she felt something. She turned to her door, held her breath and listened to the ring in her ears.

She felt a pull.

Fear making it hard to follow, but curiosity making it impossible not to.

With a steady walk, she made her way out of the room and followed the pull a good distance. Finally, she stood facing a door, feeling close to the end of the lure.

She waved her arm and the door opened, she followed the last trail of the pull and she let her eyes study what it had lead her to. It was a helmet, entirely black, and looked to be terribly disfigured. It was clearly not in its original condition.

Beside the display of the mask, a table of smoldering ashes. She looked back to the melted mask that was presented before her, as its pull was making it impossible to resist any longer.

As soon as her hand had made contact she was immersed into a manifestation. The experience was much different than one of meditation. During meditation, there was a distinct feeling of weightlessness, and that the situation could be manipulated by the energy put in. At this moment, Violet felt heavy and her mind was not as open as it was in meditation, making it impossible to control any surrounding factors.

The room went completely red and she flinched, turning towards the loud marching behind her. A long, narrow bridge, above them, the ceiling was too high to even see. Below them, an endless pit. Her legs grew weak as she felt minuscule in comparison to the surroundings.

She directed her sight ahead as a tall figure, head to toe in black, marched towards her. She hardly recognized the helmet it wore as the one she had made contact with in reality, though it was in pristine condition and not at all deformed.

She began to quiver as she watched it come nearer, she closed her eyes, trying to escape from the manifestation, but she couldn't. Between them, a glint caught her eye. It was a lightsaber.

Violet dashed vigorously, making it to the saber. She grabbed it desperately, just as the one that stood before her ignited theirs. The beam a bright, smooth red, she stood up with the newly acquired weapon in hand and felt as the blue blade beamed out of it. She continued to back up as she dreaded making contact with the red saber that grew closer to her. She fell down backwards and kicked her legs, scrambling to get further away.

The sound of his breathing was as disturbing as the sight of him was.

He was in front of her, towering over as she sat on the ground below, with a swift turn he threw his saber high, slashing downwards toward her. She winced and held the saber above her to defend herself of his powerful and deafening blow.

She couldn't hear her scream over the sound of their sabers clashing, until suddenly, her scream was all she could hear.

She opened her eyes and was shocked as she was brought out of the manifestation. She stared with piercing eyes into the intrigued ones that studied hers.

"Kylo," She managed to choke out. She was on the ground as she was in the vision, he was on his knees in front of her, hands on her shoulders, gripping tight. "What did you see?" He asked, not trying to hide his eagerness.

She looked to the haunting item that was displayed behind them, "Who's is that?" Her voice broke and she hardly noticed the hot tears streaming down her face.

Ren's eyes changed to be even more curious, "It was my Grandfathers," His eyes flickered, "Darth Vader."

She held her breath, unable to even begin explaining what she had experienced. She sighed, "First I meditated. I saw my self, my own body as it was meditating in the real world. It was only the second time I had meditated into a familiar place and saw myself," She had high energy to her voice, "Then...I met a little boy..." She corrected herself. "No. A... a man named Anakin." Kylo's energy was electrifying, she could see he was completely captivated as she talked, "He showed me a crystal cave, and began building a light saber," she was trying to remember all of the details, "And," She swallowed, "..a fight broke out, and I woke myself up from the meditative state, because I panicked and then," She moved her eyes away from his to think, looking to the ceiling. He watched her eyes shift as she searched for a way to explain the feeling, "I felt a... I felt..."

"A pull." Kylo finished, as if he was reading her mind.

She shot her eyes back down to his and nodded, "Yes. Exactly. A pull. It brought me here. When I saw... that..." She said hesitantly starring back at the disfigured helmet on display, and quickly locked her eyes back to his, her tone lost the energetic spark from earlier and now had a cold and fearful streak, "I felt compelled to make contact with it. It was irresistible, I can't quite explain it." She shook her head pressed her lips tight, resisting the urge to cry more, "When I did, it brought me into a vision, and I encountered him." She couldn't even try to put up a tough front as she felt her lips quivering as she spoke, "It wasn't like any experiences I've had from meditating. I couldn't leave on my own, I was heavy and helpless.. I've never felt anything like it. I couldn't control anything around me. If you hadn't pulled me out, I don't know what would have happened." She wondered to herself how the rest of the manifestation would have played out had Kylo not come to her relief.

She stared with wide eyes, desperate to understand what it all had meant. She knew her chaotic explanation couldn't have translated well. "Show me." He said. She raised her eyebrows in interest. His hands dropped from her shoulders and he ripped his gloves off. She held her hands up and grabbed his.

When she felt his bare skin on hers it was as if her body was sent a shock wave through it. The feeling was subsided as she felt him leveling his mind, and she followed his guidance.

Eventually, they gained control and in no time, she felt him exploring her mind, reliving what she had just experienced. When he pulled away, she felt his body relax at the same time hers did.

His eyes were much different now, they were soft and she could see them begin to get red as they welled up. She was unsure as to how to react, knowing his mood could flip like a switch at any second. "I have tried for so long to reach out to my grandfather," His voice was quiet and low and nearly cracked as he spoke, "Yet, the opportunity arises to you- No. _Calls_ you to," He corrected, shaking his head in slight disbelief, "And you effortlessly contact him." There was a bite of envy to his tone.

Their eyes didn't move from each others. They sat in silence for a few moments, not moving from their place facing one other on the floor. She knew better than to try searching into his mind, since the first and last time she had tried, he had choked her near death. While she was looking at him now, it was hard to believe it was the same person.

She went against her better knowledge and with the most gentle effort, she found her way into his head. She saw a glimpse of his emotion, how even he had fear in him, something she thought impossible. As subtle as she had entered, she withdrew from him.

Violet had seen just enough to know not to push her limits, and it was a miracle that he didn't lose his temper about her decision to do so. His mood remained neutral, and the tension between them was not like it had been before. It wasn't fueled by fear or anger, she felt his desperate curiosity pouring off of him as he stared unwavering.

There was a pull between them, similar to the pull that had lead her to where she was now. Just as the last pull, it was impossible to resist. She leaned towards him and closed the gap. As their lips connected, they felt a sensation new to both of them. She was expecting to be thrown away from him, but was caught by surprise when he pushed towards her. Her stomach was as warm as it was while she had been watching Anakin build his saber.

Their tongues gently entwined as they began to find a rhythm between their mouths. She nearly fell on her back against the intensity of his push towards her, but he had grabbed her back with his arms. He slowly lowered her until her back was flat on the ground. He continued to kiss her as he leaned over her, their breath fast and she felt as if her heart was going to burst out of her chest.

He pulled away and she feared to open her eyes, worried his state of mind switched like it had many times before. She was laying on the ground beneath him, she felt him above her and didn't feel a distance in his energy, with that in her mind she found the confidence to open her eyes. They were sore and her tears had stopped, his looked the very same.

He leaned back to her, this time with his whole body. His face was burrowed into her neck, kissing it with an intense purpose. She felt him push his groin in between her legs, and she had no control of the loud moan that escaped from her lips. It was a feeling she never knew she needed. Her breath was getting shorter as he kissed lower, peaking his lips into the outline of her robes, barely touching her skin.

She bit her lip as she choked back the urge to whimper. In the midst of the burning moment, she felt another too familiar feeling. Her stomach twisted as he shot up, pulling away from her. Violet sat up, her breath heavy and her hair had fallen out of what was once before a neat bun and framed her flushed face.

Ren had felt Snoke begin to intrude into his mind, he must have sensed a disturbance in Rens usual energy.

"Wh-" She stared at his face, as it twisted into a wince. He pulled his hands to his head and gripped tightly, "Kylo," She stared as his face began to turn red and his body quivered. Her concern quickly turned into panic. She watched as he grimaced on his knees. She quickly stood up and grabbed him by the shoulders, and ran her hands up to his face, tilting it up to her. "Kylo!" She was getting more panicked each second. He opened his eyes but didn't talk back, his jaw was clenched and he looked as if he was in the worst pain ever inflicted.

The look in his eyes was much like the ones that Anakin bared back to her as his saber had turned red. "Kylo, what's happening?" Her heart was racing, every muscle in his body was tense and he groaned as if it was all he could do, his breaths were quick and short, when he breathed at all.

She knew panicking wouldn't help him, she had wasted enough time packing. She quickly found it in her to compose herself. Pushing into his mind, in hopes to find what was going on, or at least level it out.

He struggled to resist the pry of Snoke into his head, he feared what he may do if he saw this moment he was having, a sure sign of weakness. He feared what he may do to himself, but more so her. Snoke had already taken everything else away from him, he wasn't going to let him take her.

Kylo knew he had to leave, before Snoke saw everything that was happening. He stood up, but she didn't let go of his face. "Kylo." He tried to push her away, but his concentration on keeping Snoke out was more important, making his defensive push against her getting into his mind almost nonexistent. She pushed her way into his mind with ease, and saw more than she expected.

 _A young boy, alone. A woman's voice cooed, "Ben."_

 _His eyes full of so much pain it made Violet's heart drop to her stomach._

 _He ran away, and Violet watched as the view shifted, it was pouring water from the dark sky. Fire and destruction surrounding her, she turned to see Kylo Ren._

 _She stepped towards him, and he vanished. She turned to see the young boy again._

 _He was standing with his back to her, Violet walked up to him she pulled his shoulder to turn him towards her. The boy looked up to her, "I can't keep him out of my head," His eyes were swollen and tears streamed down his red face, "Why can't I keep him out of my head?"_

 _Violet shook her head, unsure of what to say. The woman's voice caught her attention again, "Ben, you need to be with Luke. He can help you." Violet turned to stare at the woman. Her energy glowed pure light, nearly blinding Violet. She could feel the struggle of the boy named Ben grow larger._

 _In front of the woman suddenly stood a teenager, "Mother, I can't stand this pain."_

 _A loud clash startled Violet, as she spun around, the surroundings once again changing. More destruction, the gruesome sight of lifeless bodies and the blood of them scattered. Violet felt her stomach twist, as Kylo marched by and she followed him nervously, and watched as he grouped together with others, wearing dark robes as he did. She starred in horror as her knees grew weak at the sight._

 _Luckily the surroundings whirred and changed again. This time, a familiar environment, on Starkiller Base._

 _It was Ren again,without his mask, marching around his quarters in frustration, pushing everything over. He ignited his saber, and slashed around him. She watched as his teeth were bared and his eyes grew crazier by the second, he fell to his knees and clenched his head, screaming between each breath._

 _She watched in shock, until she finally brought herself to run to him. Complete darkness took over before she could reach him, and his screams of sheer pain came to a complete stop. Whatever surrounded her was a large room, the silence echoed and it was so cold she could practically see her breath as she breathed deep._

 _"Kylo Ren," The bellowing voice that echoed sent an instant chill through her, she looked up to see a large, projected image of a being so terrifying. His image came across as fragile, but his presence proved otherwise._

 _"I won't fail you, Supreme Leader Snoke," Kylo's voice caught Violets attention, he was kneeling to the frightening being, his hood was over his head, but his face was exposed._

She withdrew from his mind and saw his face, twisted and nearly purple, he was sweating profusely and shaking against her touch. As if by instinct, she stepped back in a stance, and extended her arms out in front of her. She began to feel her hands vibrate, much like the time she had healed herself. Her hands glowed and felt the tension between them, their power colliding was humming and pulsing between.

The tension dissipated, and the vibrating stopped. Kylos body went limp, she braced herself as he fell towards her, she grabbed his chest and tucked her arms underneath his, struggling to hold him and slowly placing him down the best she could. She exhaled as she let go of him on the floor.

Her heart dropped as she turned turned him onto his back and looked at his face, watching as it changed back to the pale complexion it was suppose to be. She placed a hand on his chest and felt his heart beating rapidly, she sighed in relief. His hairline was drenched, and his skin was hot to the touch. She didn't waste any time as she stood up and ran to the door, and stuck her upper body out of the doorway.

"You!" She said to a trooper down the way, "Come here." It was much easier to command without the obstruction of Ren's to override hers. The trooper marched briskly toward her, "I need another solider, and a medical droid to this room right away." The trooper nodded, "Right away."

She turned back towards Kylo and stared at his still body on the ground. Violet leaned down to him, placing a hand on his forehead. To her relief it was much cooler to the touch, she examined his face, wondering how much torment he had to have endured to be the way he was. She replayed what she had seen in his mind over and over again, trying to understand it all, until the sound of the door opening caught her attention. She turned to see two soldiers and a medical droid following behind them.

"Take him to his bed," She said to the troopers, "And you," She looked at the droid, "Examine his state of health." They followed her command instantly. The troopers lifted him, and went through a door to the side of the room that Violet hadn't noticed, his quarters were on the other side of the wall. She peeked in and observed, the sleek room was warm, and all the surroundings in it were either charcoal or black.

He had a section on the ceiling that was glass, a large frame to the vast open area of stars. She began to feel more claustrophobic the more she saw the outside. "Anything else we can assist with?" The voice of a trooper beside her startled her, "No." She said, "You are dismissed." She looked and saw Kylo laying on his bed, the medic droid beside him. She walked up to it, and it turned to her, "All body temperature and fluid levels report to be stable, low hydration detected. Analysis complete." It's droid voice beeped at her, and she watched as a report spat out of its middle area, she took it and looked at it, everything seemed to be in the green, and she heard the droid make its way out of the room.

She placed the medical report down on a side table and stared at Kylo, not knowing what to do. Clearly whatever was wrong was something deep within him, something no medic droid could pick up.

She sat beside him, she watched as his chest moved up and down. She followed his breathing pattern and leveled her mind before placing her hands on his forehead. Without going back in, she saw a large knot of chaotic emotions. She struggled to untie the strands of emotion in efforts to level his mind, but it was too hard. As she pulled and untied, they were quick to bunch into a giant mess of the knot again.

Frustration was hard to ignore, and as she was frustrated more, the knots grew tighter. She came out and attempted to level her own mind again. When she felt fit enough, she turned back to him and tried again. This time, making more progress than the last. It was taking a long time, yet at each glance at the knot as a whole, it seemed to be no progress made at all.

Before she knew it, she had hit a new level of exhaustion. A form of exhaustion controlled by the built up frustration. With her hand still over his forehead, her body slowly slipped further and further to the side, eventually leaning over his chest and as quickly as her head touched her arm, she slipped into a much needed slumber.

* * *

When he woke up, he was disoriented. He felt weight over his chest and alarm consumed him, instantaneously, she felt the same as her eyes opened wide. They shot up in unison.

She turned to him and watched as he narrowed his eyebrows, "What happened?" His tone was defensive.

"You were in a great amount of pain," She explained, trying quickly to diffuse his uneasy mood, "You.. you..." She visioned in her head what had happened, and as she played it in her head, he quickly remembered his internal battle to stop Snoke from prying in, then his desperation to get away from her. Clearly he had failed. He remembered the fight ending abruptly as the pain and struggle went away in an instant. Had Snoke seen his moment of weakness he had?

"You weren't responding. Not just that, you were getting worse by the second, I could feel it." She explained. She grabbed her hair and tied it up in a knot, "I didn't know how to help you. So I tried to... help you level your state of... mind." She swallowed.

"What did you see?" He growled. She sighed, grabbing his hand and showing him all the chaotic flashes she saw. When her eyes opened, his met hers in a very unwelcoming manner. He ripped his hand away from hers. Her forehead furrowed, "I was trying to help you, I didn't invade intentionally."

He was back to his usual, hot headed self. She continued to explain, "You lost consciousness and so I had a medical droid run some tests on you. Nothing came up." She stared at his piercing eyes and against better judgment slowly shifted closer to him, "Kylo," She whispered, "There's something inside of you that isn't suppose to be. A part of you that shouldn't be."

With a quick blink, his sharp eyes were softened by his eyebrows raising in curiosity. Had she seen light inside of him?

"Let me help you get rid of it."


End file.
